5 Steps to Overcoming Self-Doubt & Shame on Your Fitness Journey (And Replace it with Confidence)

Feelings of shame and a lack of confidence can become overwhelming obstacles during your fitness journey. These obstacles can prevent you from reaching your goals and fully embracing this powerful, transformative power of a healthy lifestyle. I've been there (and trust me, most of us have too); you are not alone in this feeling! The key to overcoming these barriers lies in shifting your mindset – replacing negative thoughts and emotions with a positive, empowering outlook. Today, we’ll help you begin to identify and confront self-doubt, build unwavering confidence, and harness your inner strength to achieve lasting success in your fitness journey (and outside of it too)!

step 1: Identifying the Root of Shame and Self-Doubt

The beginning of your fitness journey can sometimes feel like an emotional rollercoaster, with feelings of shame and self-doubt lurking around every corner. Understanding these common sources of negativity is the first step towards overcoming them:

  1. Comparison: In today's world of social media and instant gratification, it's easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. Remember, everyone's fitness journey is unique, and comparing yourself to someone else's highlight reel will only breed self-doubt and dissatisfaction.

  2. Fear of failure: Failing or not meeting your own expectations can be discouraging, but it's important to recognize that failure is a natural part of growth and learning. Embrace setbacks as opportunities to learn and improve, rather than reasons to doubt your abilities.

  3. Negative self-talk: We often become our own worst critics, allowing negative thoughts to sabotage our progress. Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself in your head - work to replace harsh judgments with kinder, more constructive thoughts.

step 2: identifying triggers through Self Reflection

To identify these triggers of comparison, fear of failure, and negative self talk — its important to take time for self-reflection. There are several ways you can do this, but here are three solid exercises that will help you begin to dive deeper into these triggers. I would recommend writing this down good ‘ol pen to paper style; it engages your brain better + allows for more clear thoughts!

reflecting on past shame w/ fitness or your body

Reflect on instances where you experienced shame or self-doubt in your fitness journey. What events or situations triggered these feelings? Write down your thoughts and dig deeper into any patterns that may come up.

Examples of times you may have felt shame

  • “Struggling to complete a workout routine that others seemed to finish with ease”

  • “Feeling embarrassed about not knowing how to use certain gym equipment”

  • “Comparing my body to those of other gym-goers”

Examples of patterns you may notice

  • “Comparing myself to others frequently”

  • “Feeling inexperienced or out of place in the gym”

listening to how you to talk to yourself

Consider the internal dialogue you have with yourself during moments of self-doubt. What are some of the negative thoughts that come to mind? Write them down, then challenge each thought by listing positive qualities or achievements that counteract the negativity.

Example

  • Negative thought: "I'll never be as fit as everyone else at the gym."

  • Counterargument: "I've made significant progress since I started my fitness journey. My stamina has improved, and I can lift heavier weights now."

Example

  • Negative thought: "I look silly doing this exercise, and everyone is watching me."

  • Counterargument: "Most people at the gym are focused on their own workouts. Besides, everyone has to start somewhere, and I'm here to improve myself."

Expose Your insecurities

Ask yourself what fears or insecurities may be holding you back from fully embracing your fitness journey. Are there any specific experiences or beliefs that contribute to these feelings? Write them down and consider how you might confront and overcome these barriers.

Example

  • Fear: I'm afraid of being judged or laughed at by others in the gym.

  • Insecurity: I don't believe I'm athletic or strong enough to reach my fitness goals.

Possible solutions

  • Remind myself that everyone at the gym is there to improve, and they're likely not judging me.

  • Celebrate my small victories and progress, reinforcing the belief that I am capable of growth and improvement.

  • Work with a coach to help guide you through the journey

By gaining a deeper understanding of your personal triggers, you'll be better equipped to face them head-on and build resilience against shame and self-doubt in your fitness journey.

step 3: practice confidence-boosting activities

With a deeper understanding of the sources of shame and self-doubt, you can then begin to work towards building a positive mindset and boosting your confidence. This part of the journey can be tough, but the transformation you’ll experience in your overall well-being will be life-changing. Here are some strategies that can help you with transforming your thoughts:

practicing positive affirmations

Positive affirmations are short, uplifting statements that you can say to yourself every day. These powerful statements can impact your mental and emotional well-being by re-programming your thought patterns and beliefs about yourself! Research in psychology and neuroscience has shown that regular practice of positive affirmations can lead to positive and impactful changes in the way you think and feel about yourself.

One reason positive affirmations work is that they help to counteract our brain's natural tendency to focus on negative information, a phenomenon known as the negativity bias. By deliberately introducing and repeating positive statements, you can shift your brain's focus and gradually change its wiring to be more optimistic and self-supportive.

Positive affirmations also influence the brain's neuroplasticity, its ability to adapt and rewire itself in response to new experiences and information. When you consistently practice positive affirmations, you are training your brain to create new neural pathways that support positive thinking and self-belief. Over time, these new pathways become stronger, making it easier for your brain to access positive thoughts and emotions.

For example: when you repeatedly tell yourself, "I am strong," "I am capable," or "I am worthy of success," you are reinforcing the neural connections associated with these thoughts, making them more accessible and prevalent in your mind. This consistent practice helps replace self-doubt with self-belief, fostering a more supportive inner dialogue.

Setting achievable goals

Aiming for lofty, unrealistic goals can quickly lead to disappointment and frustration. Instead, break down your fitness journey into smaller, achievable milestones that build upon one another. This way, you'll experience a steady sense of accomplishment and maintain momentum as you progress towards your ultimate goals. Remember, small victories add up over time and create lasting change.

Celebrating your small victories

Celebrating small victories is an essential part of building self-confidence and maintaining motivation throughout your fitness journey. By acknowledging and appreciating the progress you make on a micro level, you will create a positive internal environment (within your thoughts) that encourages continued growth and achievement.

Here are some tips on how to celebrate your small victories:

  1. Keep a success journal: Dedicate a notebook or journal to tracking your accomplishments, both big and small! Write down all of your victories, whether its completing a challenging workout to choosing a healthier meal option. Regularly reviewing your journal will remind you of your progress and motivate you to keep pushing forward.

  2. Share your achievements: Don't hesitate to share your successes with supportive friends, family members, or workout partners! Their encouragement and validation can be incredibly motivating and help reinforce a positive self-image.

  3. Reward yourself: When you reach a milestone, treat yourself to a reward that aligns with your fitness journey. This could be as simple as enjoying a relaxing bath or purchasing a new workout outfit. By associating your accomplishments with positive experiences, you'll create a cycle of motivation that empowers you in moving forward more effortlessly!

  4. Create a visual of your progress: Create a visual representation of your achievements, such as a progress chart or photo timeline. Display it somewhere you can see it daily: like on your closet, fridge, or mirror. Seeing visual evidence of your progress can be incredibly motivating and serve as a constant reminder of what you’re capable of.

  5. Practice gratitude: Take time each day to reflect on the aspects of your fitness journey that make you proud. Acknowledge the effort you've put in, the progress you've made, and the support you've received from others. Taking the time to remind yourself of these moments can help shift your focus from what you haven't achieved to what you have, fostering a positive mindset and increased self-confidence to move forward and see your success.

Focusing on progress, not perfection

It's easy to fall into the trap of seeking perfection, but the reality is that nobody is perfect. Fitness is a journey filled with ups and downs; lean into the process and try to avoid fixating on negative thoughts. Strive for progress and growth, and remember that every step you take, no matter how small, brings you closer to your goals. Be patient with yourself, and find pride in the progress you've made so far.

 
 

step 4: Incorporate Mindfulness and Meditation Practices

Incorporating mindfulness and meditation practices into your fitness journey can help you better manage feelings of shame and self-doubt. Mindfulness teaches you to become more present and aware of your thoughts without judgment. By developing this awareness, you can better recognize negative thought patterns and emotions as they come up and respond to them in a healthier, more constructive way.

Here are some mindfulness and meditation techniques you can try:

  1. Body scan meditation: This type of meditation involves focusing on different parts of your body in a systematic way, helping you develop a greater awareness of physical sensations and any tension or discomfort you might be holding. As you become more attuned to your body, you may find it easier to recognize and address any feelings of shame or self-doubt that manifest physically.

  2. Loving-kindness meditation: This practice involves silently repeating phrases of goodwill and kindness towards yourself and others. For example, you might say, "May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be safe, may I be at ease." This can help foster feelings of self-compassion and self-acceptance, making it easier to navigate challenges on your fitness journey.

  3. Mindful breathing: Focusing on your breath is a simple yet powerful mindfulness technique that can help you stay grounded and present in the face of negative emotions. Try taking a few slow, deep breaths whenever you notice feelings of shame or self-doubt arising, and observe how your breath moves in and out of your body.

  4. Guided meditation: There are many guided meditation resources available, including apps, podcasts, and YouTube videos, that can help you explore different mindfulness techniques and find what works best for you. Consider incorporating guided meditation sessions into your daily routine to help cultivate a more positive and resilient mindset.

 
 

step 5: Taking consistent Action to Create Change

It's crucial to remember that progress happens one step at a time, and every small action you take brings you closer to your goals. Put yourself into an environment that is going to encourage you in your goals and make achieving them much easier.

Here are a few ways you can ensure that changing your routine is as smooth as possible:

  1. Find an accountability partner: Reach out to a friend, family member, or coworker who shares similar fitness goals. By supporting and holding each other accountable, you'll both be more likely to stay on track and motivated. This partnership can also provide emotional support, encouragement, and understanding as you navigate your journey together.

  2. Join a supportive community: Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who share your passion for fitness and self-improvement. This could be through a local workout group, online fitness forum, or social media community. Engaging with others who are on a similar path can provide inspiration, motivation, and valuable advice.

  3. Set regular check-ins with yourself: Schedule periodic self-assessments to reflect on your progress, evaluate your goals, and identify areas for improvement. These check-ins can help you stay focused, adapt your plan as needed, and maintain a sense of perspective on your journey.

  4. Create a routine: Establishing a consistent fitness routine can make it easier to stay committed to your goals. Design a schedule that incorporates exercise into your daily life and make it a priority. By making fitness a regular part of your day, you'll develop habits that support long-term success.

 
 

Final Thoughts

Overcoming shame and self-doubt while building confidence in your fitness journey is a transformative, rewarding, and necessary process for change. By identifying the root causes of your negative emotions, cultivating a positive mindset, incorporating mindfulness and meditation practices, and taking consistent action towards your goals, you can create lasting change and unlock your full potential in fitness and in life.

Remember to practice self-compassion and patience as you navigate this journey. Embrace your small victories, learn from setbacks, and focus on progress rather than perfection. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who uplift and encourage you, and don't forget to celebrate your achievements along the way!

 
 
Lexes O'Hara

A certified personal trainer and coach of over 10 years. Specializing in teaching strength training, nutrition, and healthy living. Lexes originally got involved with lifting as one way to manage her mental health & self-confidence, but has gone on to also compete in bodybuilding, powerlifting, and run full/half marathons.

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